"You may have a dog that won't sit up, roll over or even cook breakfast, not because she's too stupid to learn how but because she's too smart to bother." - Rick Horowitz, Chicago Tribune
Of Dogs and Cats - Part Two
By Alex Levin
Originally published in the Conway Daily Sun
Dogs and cats of course have different positions on the food chain, which may explain their different attitudes toward life. While the dog is almost always the hunter (Fifi's and Pepe's excluded), the feline walks a fine line between prey and predator.
Cats are really bad at crossing roads and not apt to learn by their mistakes. Even their prowess at climbing is way over-rated, as are their mousing skills. Considered graceful by some, I've witnessed many misguided jumps and much sloppy footwork that have resulted in broken dishes, scattered papers, and curtains yanked from the wall. And while we can only hope that the omnivorous puppy will begin to narrow his food selection down to at least exclude inorganic items like rocks, shoes, and family heirlooms, he doesn't get into too much trouble.
To the contrary, feline critters eagerly engage in more than their own share of malicious mischief. Socks are always missing around here and several house plants have been intimidated into withering. And there is still the incident of the missing spoons to which I personally think John Jacob is party.
While dogs sleep their share, they are amateur snoozers compared to cats who can shamelessly lay about in one spot for twelve hours at a time. Guilt is not part of any cat's consideration. Shaming a cat is about as useful an exercise as shaming a congressman.
Cats do require less effort to maintain and it doesn't require a station wagon to buy food for them. Dogs do slobber more. They both drink out of toilets, but the dog is far less likely to fall in.
Maybe neither of them understand what we say when we seek their confidence, but dogs at least listen. Cats couldn't care less about your problems. However, if they could talk, they'd reveal all your personal quirks to Geraldo for half a can of tuna. Dogs like grandmothers are givers of unconditional love, cheerful and full of optimism, concerned only for their master's well being. No matter how many people you piss off the night before, you know that your dog will always be glad to see you in the morning.
Soon Ryu will get up, take two steps towards the door and pee on the carpet. And any instant now the cat will attempt to make confetti of my fingers as they fly about the keyboard. "He's just trying to tell you he's hungry," the cat people will say. So I will have to stop to clean up the piddle and feed the cat who probably won't eat
The dog and cat will learn to coexist. And the cat fanciers in our house will learn that puppies don't toss well and I'll have to accept the fact that I exist strictly for my cat's amusement.
Photo: Stunt cat - Chloe