With the best of intentions. Gathering a few notes for 2013 -- Wish Deborah Barnes luck.
She would like to establish a few house rules for the cats. Does anyone know where
(if such a planet even exists) this has actually been successful?
She would like to establish a few house rules for the cats. Does anyone know where
(if such a planet even exists) this has actually been successful?
Dear Cats:
It’s your human tenants here(i.e., slaves) who just have the tiniest,
itsy bitsy request of a favor from you,
if you don’t mind.
When we come in from outdoors
– whether it be after a long and
grueling day at work, or a quick trip to
the grocery store – can you please
refrain from standing by, and blocking
the other side of the door, waiting for us
to open it, rendering it virtually
IMPOSSIBLE to get in the house without either worrying about one of you escaping
to the outdoors, or stepping on you?
– whether it be after a long and
grueling day at work, or a quick trip to
the grocery store – can you please
refrain from standing by, and blocking
the other side of the door, waiting for us
to open it, rendering it virtually
IMPOSSIBLE to get in the house without either worrying about one of you escaping
to the outdoors, or stepping on you?
We do understand and appreciate that you are hungry and are
excited to see us,
but we generally have our hands full – things such as a purse, briefcase, lunchbox,
or heavy bags of groceries (yes, including cat food and cat paraphernalia) and
it is very difficult to walk in an uninterrupted and safe manner without the possibility
of tripping because of you swarming us and walking under foot.
but we generally have our hands full – things such as a purse, briefcase, lunchbox,
or heavy bags of groceries (yes, including cat food and cat paraphernalia) and
it is very difficult to walk in an uninterrupted and safe manner without the possibility
of tripping because of you swarming us and walking under foot.
Perhaps you could just walk in a safe distance ahead of
us, or maybe you could walk
to the side of us, or even behind us. It really serves no useful purpose whatsoever having
you directly in the path of our feet, unless it is your intent to have one of us trip and fall.
We really don’t get to the kitchen any quicker to feed you by this congested traffic
pattern of cats. And to be fair, collectively there are seven of you – that’s twenty-eight
paws in total that our four legs have to contend with.
to the side of us, or even behind us. It really serves no useful purpose whatsoever having
you directly in the path of our feet, unless it is your intent to have one of us trip and fall.
We really don’t get to the kitchen any quicker to feed you by this congested traffic
pattern of cats. And to be fair, collectively there are seven of you – that’s twenty-eight
paws in total that our four legs have to contend with.
And since we’re on the subject, if you don’t mind as well, maybe
you could NOT
walk underfoot first thing in the morning when we wake up. We are already groggy,
have had no coffee, and it is dark. Stepping on each and every one of you as we make
our way to either the bathroom or kitchen is a bit hazardous. You know we get out of
bed every morning at the same time – how about you just wait for us in the kitchen
to feed you instead of getting underfoot and causing us to lose balance as we try
to walk? Do you really enjoy having us step on your tail? Your meows of pain would
suggest otherwise. It’s just a thought, but how about we try it as an experiment one morning
to see how it goes?
walk underfoot first thing in the morning when we wake up. We are already groggy,
have had no coffee, and it is dark. Stepping on each and every one of you as we make
our way to either the bathroom or kitchen is a bit hazardous. You know we get out of
bed every morning at the same time – how about you just wait for us in the kitchen
to feed you instead of getting underfoot and causing us to lose balance as we try
to walk? Do you really enjoy having us step on your tail? Your meows of pain would
suggest otherwise. It’s just a thought, but how about we try it as an experiment one morning
to see how it goes?
And really, we don’t want to have
to resort to such strong measures,
but we will retain a lawyer and file
a suit with you if one of us does slip
and fall. Since we manage the
bookkeeping here and you don’t, we
know you don’t carry cat liability
insurance and could not possibly
afford to be sued. Just something
to keep in mind…
to resort to such strong measures,
but we will retain a lawyer and file
a suit with you if one of us does slip
and fall. Since we manage the
bookkeeping here and you don’t, we
know you don’t carry cat liability
insurance and could not possibly
afford to be sued. Just something
to keep in mind…
Anyhow, we thank you for your time
and consideration of this very serious matter. As always, we remain ever steady servants
to your every whim and desire and bow to your obvious superiority.
and consideration of this very serious matter. As always, we remain ever steady servants
to your every whim and desire and bow to your obvious superiority.
We also
want to thank you for letting us share space with you in our own home
that we
pay for. We also continue to gladly pay for your food, vet trips, endless toys, as well as to supply
you with unlimited love and to spoil you from sun up to sun down, even while you get underfoot.
pay for. We also continue to gladly pay for your food, vet trips, endless toys, as well as to supply
you with unlimited love and to spoil you from sun up to sun down, even while you get underfoot.
Regards,
Dan and Deb /
Your Humans
After an unexpected life-changing event, Deborah Barnes decided to
follow her dreams of
becoming an author, using the relationship of her cats as inspiration for her first book.
She is also the author of the popular blog, Zee & Zoey’s Chronicle Connection.
Visit Deborah at: http://www.zeezoey.com
becoming an author, using the relationship of her cats as inspiration for her first book.
She is also the author of the popular blog, Zee & Zoey’s Chronicle Connection.
Visit Deborah at: http://www.zeezoey.com
1 comment:
Thank you for sharing this memo I wrote to my cats - they provide me with endless writing material and I am also happy to report we have a new family member added to the mix, now bringing our feline family to eight!! We adopted a rescue kitten that we named Kizmet in November and he has brought so much love, spirit, and fun into our household!
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